When you reach 40 or 50 years of age, you’ve met many friends and acquaintances. For some of us, our closest friends are the ones that we met as early as elementary school. No matter what they do, the friendship remains, because your history together trumps any irritating quirks or misunderstandings that occur. Whether you have good longtime friends or you feel more comfortable alone, it’s still important to make new friends when you are over 40 or 50 years of age.
Here’s why?
- If not, you can get stuck in your own perspectives and lack a broad point of view (become too narrow in your thinking) with stifles balance.
- Friends and community create great opportunity for personal growth and help you stay relevant.
- Younger people need your voice of wisdom.
- Being still too much is harmful to your health.
- Good friends help you grow. You should never stop growing.
- Good friends can keep you fun and light-hearted.
- If you age in a healthy manner, some of your friends will unfortunately pass away. It will help to have established relationships with younger friends.
My friend, Ricky Texada, writes on his blog, “I’ve come to the conclusion that God can use anyone or anything to speak a word to us. Therefore, I’m open to listen to anyone, although I may not believe all that is said.”
Making friends when you are over 40 and 50 can be as difficult as a 15-year-old trying to make friends in a new school – it takes an effort. Good friendships are a part of enjoying great rewards. They bring balance and community. No one was created to walk alone. We all need good friends – even when we are over 40 and 50. As we get older, it’s normal to become very clear in what you enjoy, dislike, and tolerate. Unfortunately, that clarity can also make it more difficult to make new friends. Real friendships are not just about you and meeting someone who adds value to your life, but it also means you add value to your friend’s life. Your new friend will not have it all together, but that’s OK, most of us don’t have it all together either!
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (This is not just about marriage, but Christian friendships as well.)
Here are some great pointers that will make meeting new friends a fun adventure!
- Say yes! When you get asked to go somewhere, try it.
- Be willing to try something new.
- Join an organization that comes together for an activity.
- Take a class.
- Participate in your church activities and serve.
- Volunteer
- Join a committee for a cause.
- Laugh, play and enjoy so others will enjoy being with you.
- Call someone and listen.
- Invite someone to join you in an activity. If they are not available, that’s OK, just ask someone else.
- Buy new clothes and keep up with the latest styles. Take someone shopping with you.
As you make new friends, be careful to have balanced conversations. Share your ideas, then make sure your new friends get to share their ideas. Don’t be judgemental, or too opinionated and be careful about mothering others. Remember, your new friendship is not a counseling session. It’s a mutual friendship with two interesting people.
When you are a good listener, your friend will enjoy your company even more. Hang out. Have fun with no other agenda. Enjoy great friendship with different cultures, nationalities, and of course different genders. Who knows, if you’re single, something even greater might emerge from a good friendship. If so, send me a comment. I would love to hear about it.
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